The problem is, when we don’t really know what we want, we can’t really fight for it. No my darlings, it’s not to be loved. Many women are loved and still, don’t feel satisfied. No, it’s not to be respected either for many who are respected are sad too. It took me a while to discover this for myself.
This tardiness really disrupted my life because I’d create problems where there were none, especially in relation to myself. You who follow this column will know this quite well. It was only when I recognised that I was insecure, that I could understand myself. It seems that it’s the kind of topic that can never end and you know why? Because our insecurities need to be dealt with on a daily basis. The insecurity you overcame last month has now taken another form and you need to deal with it today in this new version. And there we go, for the rest of our lives. The female nature carries this weakness and our other heavy burden called emotions just fuels it even more. And so what do women want anyway? We want security.
That’s why we’re constantly looking for appreciation, praise, care, friendship, respect, admiration and love. Because we hardly give any of these things to ourselves, we demand it from others. In my case, I’ve changed quite a lot, but still, my insecurities find ways to manifest themselves differently every time. If I relax about this, forget it – they’ll take over my life again. That’s why I fight in faith daily. When emotions that feed these insecurities come my way, I’ve a habit of rejecting them. Bad news comes and these insecurities speak in an almost audible voice. I repeat over and over again ‘It’s tied up! God is with me, His promises are true, who can defeat Him?’ Besides this, I fill myself with the Words of God.
I couldn’t care less about what’s happening in the world. Ask me what came out in the news yesterday and I’ll tell you ‘don’t know, don’t care’. Celebrities get married and get divorced, and I normally find out way later than everyone else in the world. I don’t follow news irrelevant to me, that’s all. I know that many people like to be informed, and I’m not judging them. If the news doesn’t harm them – great! In my case, it doesn’t help. The more I feed myself from what comes from above, the less insecurity I have, and the more faith I acquire. This is my secret. This is my husband’s secret. This is the secret of our marriage. Want some of this banquet? Go after it!
In faith
Cristiane Cardoso