Love for us is something we want to feel, touch, get hold of, and see. In as much as it’s natural for us to love and show it through our actions and behaviour, when we don’t get it in the way in return, we turn into a bore, nagging about it day in, day out. Frustration is one of the top emotions we’ll have that day and why? Just because we didn’t get what we would give.

They say we’re difficult beings and I couldn’t agree more. I think our high maintenance personality is really what overall differentiates us from men and yet, it’s probably the root of many unnecessary problems we go through. Everything for us seems a lot harder than usual but that’s exactly because of our female nature of making a big deal about every little thing.

We can be over the moon by a romantic attitude one day and completely forget it the next day when we’re still expecting more and more proofs of love. It’s never enough. If he says ‘I love you’ one day, you know you’ll want to hear it again the next day, and the next, and the next. No matter how many times he shows you his love and appreciation, you still keep on expecting him to do it over and over again.

The only problem with that is that we forget to use common sense when we’re creating problems that were non-existent in the relationship. The more we demand what’s already common sense from our guy, the less he wants to show it and in the process, we end up looking like fools. The kind of woman one prefers to live away in the desert.

We want to feel his love in many different ways. If he drinks the whole juice leaving nothing for you to drink, you think it’s lack of consideration, when in fact, he simply didn’t think about it. Or when he forgets your anniversary, you think he doesn’t care about it but in reality, he thanks God every single day for that special day he met you, he simply forgot the date.

Being high maintenance can many times saturate a relationship. The constant argument about how he never does this or that makes his chances of doing what you’re asking even smaller, and for the right reasons! Appreciation and love shouldn’t have to be demanded, required, and expected. These are natural feelings that only really matter when they’re spontaneous, and I think that’s what we want, isn’t it? Spontaneity.

So how can we deal with our high maintenance nature? Suppress it sometimes. Pretend you don’t need that extra reassurance. Value yourself more instead of begging others to give you a bit of value here and there. And above all, use your faith. You may not be appreciated as much as you deserve by people, but you certainly have a great value for God, Who knows you more than anyone else in this world and loves you just the way you are. With God, we can be high maintenance, and ask, ask, and ask. As a matter of fact, He said that we should do that! As long as we’re having a relationship with Him, He’s fine with that.

In faith,

Cristiane Cardoso

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1 Comment

1.   katuchero   |  Friday, 05 March 2010 at 10:51 am

   I cannot demand or require to be loved and appreciated but I have to Love myself first and give love to others in order for me to receive it.