Unable to deal with the disappointment after she was abandoned by the father of her two children who had promised marriage, Sibongile dated married men because she wanted to hurt their wives in the same way.Her partner changed a month after their second child was born.
“He stopped communicating with me and later told me he had a girlfriend. The news shocked me to the core and left me bitter, angry and disappointed. My dreams of raising our children together in a proper family were shattered. I hated him so much that I did not want him close to my children,” she said.
Believing that her partner’s new girlfriend was the cause of all this pain, Sibongile started dating married men to hurt their wives.”I never loved the men I dated, but I used them to try to deal with my own hurt. Knowing that their wives were frustrated and hurting when I was with their husbands gave me much satisfaction,” said Sibongile.
She recalled one incident when she fought with her boyfriend’s wife. “I was with her husband when she caught us. We fought and her husband did not bother to intervene. Police were called to the scene and they let me off with a stern verbal warning,” she said.Sibongile was invited to the Universal Church in 2012. She came because she knew she needed to change before her habits landed her in jail, or led to her being killed.
“That was 15 years after the father of my children left me. I took part in the chains of prayer on Wednesdays and I understood that God was not going to bless me while I was in an adulterous relationship. I then asked God to deliver me from grudges and bitterness. I stopped dating married men and I asked God to forgive me for hurting other women. I then asked Him to deliver me from the anger and bitterness I suffered.As I continued coming to the church, I learned how forgiving those who have hurt me does not give them a ‘free pass’, but frees me of the burden of harbouring the grudges and hatred that corrupted and harmed me inside. That was when I was able to forgive the father of my children and allowed them to visit him. The grace of God helped me to put my past behind me and trust Him with my life,” she said.
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