04 September 2018

Funeral reveals secrets

Finding out that her father had another family after his funeral was a blow to Kedumetse and her mother. As a result, Kedumetse harboured grudges against her late father.

"My father worked far from home and only came at the end of every month. When I was nine years old he passed away. After his funeral we learnt that he had another child that we didn’t know about and he was going to get married months before his death. My mother was overwhelmed with shock and that killed my confidence as the only child. I felt like he didn’t love me enough for he had another child.

I was very angry at him and I didn't get a chance to ask him his reasons for having another family. When I was doing grade three my mother found a job in Johannesburg and left me with my aunt in Rustenburg. My anger worsened as I felt everyone close to me was neglecting me.

I had no one to talk to and I bottled up everything I felt inside. I was easily influenced by friends. We went to taverns at night. My night life soon caught up with me and I failed grade ten. That didn't shake me because one of my friends also failed so I still had a companion. After completing matric my grandmother, a member of the Universal Church asked me to come live with her in Johannesburg. She then invited me to the church and I started attending Friday services to be delivered from grudges and low-self-esteem.

I also attended YPG meetings where I learnt that only God was able to give me a new life. As I continued attending church services I realised that it was pointless holding a grudge against someone who has passed on. I also learnt that a grudge is a poison to the one carrying it.

I was then able to forgive my father. I opened up to my grandmother about my feelings over all these years. I developed inner peace and felt safe for the first time in a long time. That same year I met Thabiso and we dated for two years before we were married in the church. God has granted me more love than I longed for," she said.

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