03 July 2018

Adultery the ultimate betrayal

Mpho felt worthless and betrayed when she discovered her husband had made another woman pregnant while she was carrying their second child.

"We had been married for six months when my husband confessed his infidelities to a pastor in the church.

I was a member of the Universal Church and my husband attended occasionally.  We dated for 10 years before marrying, but that did not stop him from cheating. A pastor told me about the other woman who was pregnant.

I was so overwhelmed I thought I was going to die because I was also pregnant with our second baby.  I felt betrayed … ugly and worthless. He wasn’t remorseful or supportive, but became cold and distant," she said.

The couple was advised to attend marriage counselling in the church. The sessions helped Mpho to see the need to forgive, but six months later her husband again cheated with another woman.

"I left him and went back home. It was not easy because I did not have a job.  He stopped supporting us. I felt I’d wasted time because he was not ready to change," she said.

Unable to cope, Mpho left the church, started drinking heavily, dated many men and neglected her children.

"My mother pleaded with me to come back to God, but I refused until my elder child started misbehaving. I was often called to her school and that was when I realised I needed to change and set a good example.

I went back to the church and attended Wednesdays' services for spiritual growth.  I understood that I needed to draw closer to God and prayed for strength and inner healing. I was able to forgive my ex-husband for his infidelities. As I stood firm in my faith, God gave me inner peace. I became a good mother. I spent time with them and my daughter’s behaviour changed. She also started attending services with me.

My ex-husband now provides for the children. I found a job and can take care of myself and my family," she said. 

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