07 December 2018

I wanted to follow her

Losing her sister after a short illness left Bukiwe with a void which caused her to attempt suicide twice.

"I was closer to my sister than any other family member and I found it difficult to accept that she had passed away. I felt sad and lonely when I was by myself at night. I pretended to be well at home because I did not know how to explain how I felt. To distract myself from the emotions that put me down, I spent time with my friends away from home. I also drank occasionally," said Bukiwe.

That same year Bukiwe attempted suicide twice. "I wanted to kill myself because I could not cope with the pain of losing my sister. The first time I tried committing suicide, I drank my grandmother's tablets at night and went to bed hoping to die. The next day when I woke up, I felt weak and dizzy. Six months later I tried the same thing again and nothing happened," said Bukiwe.

That was when she realised that she needed help and decided to attend services at the Universal Church. She took part in the chains of prayer on Wednesdays for her spiritual development. On Fridays she prayed for her deliverance from suicidal thoughts.

"I started working on building my relationship with God. I stopped dating, going out with my friends and drinking. I was also delivered from suicidal thoughts. I sought God's presence and read the Bible more often at home. I grew spiritually and became closer to God. His presence gave me peace and filled the emptiness," she said.