10 October 2023

I bought poison to kill myself

“The problem started when my older brother physically harmed us to the point where we had to involve the police. He often got into conflicts with my mother, even claiming the family house as his own.

At that time, I was working as a security guard, so I made the decision to move out and rent a room elsewhere. I was not earning much as a security guard. Eventually, I quit my job, which triggered a period of heavy drinking and smoking.

During this time, my mother took custody of my children, and I felt a strong resentment towards her for doing so. I believed she hated me. I was also promiscuous. I sought solace in alcohol, drinking to escape my problems. There was a moment when I thought of ending my life and I even bought poison, but thoughts of how it would affect my mother and children prevented me from going through with it. I was concerned about who would care for my children.

My mother and I were in the process of getting my brother kicked out of the house due to his troublesome behaviour when a member of the Universal Church invited me to attend a Sunday service. Attending the services made me see things differently and that prompted me to invite my mother as well. I actively participated in the chains of prayers for my complete deliverance.

I learnt to use my faith and believe in God. I also learnt the importance of forgiving others and seeking forgiveness. This transformative experience also impacted my mother, resulting in improved relationships within our family. The conflicts stopped and my brother also underwent a positive transformation and he stopped being violent.

I overcame my drinking and smoking addiction and I stopped being promiscuous. I became a responsible and caring mother to my children. Now, I experience a sense of peace and joy when spending time with my children. God was the solution to my problems,” said Thokozile.