10 September 2018

A decision I will always regret

Facing problems in his marriage of one year weakened Bhekithemba's spiritual life and he later stopped attending the church services.

"I served God as an assistant for five years and my wife was also an assistant in the church. We got married in 2010. Our first year in our marriage was the most miserable period in my life. My wife spent more time with her friends while I was alone at home and that did not sit well with me.

I could not understand why a married woman and God’s servant would behave in such a manner. We had constant fights and there was no peace in our home. My marital problems weakened me spiritually and I stopped praying about my situation. I instead looked for help in other places.

I was afraid to ask for help in the church because I thought I was going to be judged. We eventually divorced a year later. The abrupt end to my marriage left me in pain. I asked God why I had to go through such a painful period in my life. For over three years I lived a miserable life. I was always sad and had no inner-peace.

One of the people I consulted for help, told me that he had no solution for me because all I needed was God’s intervention. That was an eye-opener for me and I regretted my decision of drifting away from God.

In 2016, I started attending church services. I was not even concerned about what other people were going to say about me because all I wanted was peace. At the end of the service I spoke to the pastor and told him about the painful end of my marriage.

He then suggested that I start attending services on Wednesdays for my spiritual life to grow. In the meetings, I understood that perfect peace can only be found when one builds a close relationship with God I learned the importance of depending on Him in every situation.

My spiritual life is strengthened day by day. God gave me wisdom to understand that I also contributed to my marriage falling apart. I was then able to forgive my ex-wife. I now feel lighter and very peaceful inside," he said.