11 January 2019

Depressed and suicidal

Christine slipped into depression and contemplated suicide after losing her father in 2016.

"My father had a brain haemorrhage and he passed on after my first visit to the hospital.  That evening I received a call from the hospital informing me that he had passed on. I was devastated by his passing because I was closer to him than I was to my mother. I could not imagine how life was going to be without him.

I became despondent and did not want to do anything in life. I wanted to leave school, even though I was in matric. I was also tempted to go back to my old life of alcohol and drug addiction because I felt life had nothing good for me. I started entertaining suicidal thoughts because I felt dying was going to lead me to where my father was," she said.

 She continued attending church services, but when she got home, she locked herself in her room and cried.

"I could not sleep at night as I would put my father's pictures on my bed and start crying. That continued for more than three months before I decided to talk to a pastor's wife who offered me counselling. I attended the services on Fridays and asked God to deliver me from suicidal thoughts and on Wednesdays when I asked Him to heal me from the pain of losing my father.

Weeks later, I started sleeping peacefully at night. The suicidal thoughts stopped and I understood that my father had run his race and I needed to run my own. I now know God as my comforter and healer. I was able to pick up in my studies and passed my matric," said Christine.

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