I felt empty and had low self-esteem. I had so much pain inside of me and was very sad. I felt hopeless and read a lot of books to escape my sad reality. I contemplated suicide for days on end.
I suffered abuse at the hands of my aunt. I was severely beaten for no apparent reason. She often told me how stupid and useless I was. She told me that I would never amount to anything.
I had anger towards my mother because she was absent from my life. I felt rejected by her. I tried to commit suicide several times. When I was seven years old, I went to a river and tried to drown myself but there was a man who stopped me.
Because of my lifestyle, I always overspent my money. I did not even see where my money was going. I was always fatigued because I would spend the whole night in a nightclub. Although I had the company of friends, I felt lost and alone.
He often came home late and when I asked why, he fought with me. He beat me like he was beating another man. He once held a knife to my throat, threatening to kill me.
I plunged into depression and could not sleep at night. If I managed to sleep, I had nightmares. I contemplated suicide because I felt unworthy. On the day that I had planned to commit suicide, my mother invited me to attend services in the Universal Church.
